Gratitude Journal Entry #25

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Tonight, I’m grateful that I found both pieces of music I need for my scheduled performances the week of Christmas. I’m grateful that the first arrangement is almost finished, and the sketch for the second is outlined.

I’m grateful that my simple arrangements of two Christmas pieces for one of my piano students went easily and that they are finished and ready to print for his next lesson. I’m grateful he’s so motivated to learn these pieces that he asked me to “fix them” for him. I’m grateful that I have the tools and skills to be able to do this for him.

I’m grateful for the yummy lentil stew I made, and that it went so well with the left-over cornbread. I’m grateful that there was plenty left over to share with a farmer and my acupuncturist. I’m grateful that in giving the farmer the stew out of my abundance, he surprised me with a massive bag of fresh mammoth basil.

I’m grateful for a clean kitchen and empty trash bins. I’m grateful for continuing energy to sort through closets and craft supplies. I’m grateful there is now another large pile to be donated. I’m grateful there’s a large pile of books ready to be donated. I’m grateful that this chaos indicates order is coming. I’m grateful that there is a plan to put things into order again soon.

I’m grateful for piano time with Mozart and Chopin.

I’m grateful for a heating pad and a snuggly kitty.

I’m grateful for abundance.

I’m grateful for sharing.

I’m grateful for the blessings that return a million-fold.

I’m grateful for purging.

I’m grateful for endings.

I’m grateful for the impending beginnings because of the endings.

I’m grateful for compassion.

I’m grateful for tenderness.

I’m grateful for gentleness.

I’m grateful for love.

 

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Gratitude Journal Entry #24

Abundance1

Tonight, I’m grateful for a lovely walk around town as I ran errands this morning.¬†I’m grateful for sipping fresh, organic juices from my local health food store as I ran my errands. I’m grateful for finding some waterless shampoo so that I can clean a 4′ teddy bear to give to my favorite library patron for Christmas ūüôā I’m grateful that I found/accomplished all that I needed on my errand run and was home by lunch.

I’m grateful for a delicious lunch, followed by going through more stuff from the garage. I’m deeply grateful that my emotional attachment to things from my past is waning significantly so that it’s easy to let it go. I’m grateful that a family who has no money for Christmas this year asked for craft stuff for their little girl. I’m so grateful that I have so much of it to share with her. I’m grateful that while sorting through my abundant craft supplies, I was able to remember with so much happiness all the things I created with all of these things, and all the friendships and memories shared with people I love so much. I’m grateful that this inspired Mom to start going through her supplies as well, and that it feels so good to let go of things I no longer need.

I’m grateful for my piano students who always have so much to teach me.

I’m grateful for abundance.

I’m grateful for sharing.

I’m grateful for hugs.

I’m grateful for flow.

I’m grateful for tenderness.

I’m grateful for love.

 

Gratitude Journal Entry #21

Tonight, I’m grateful for honoring my body and soul’s need to be completely off-line due to higher dimensional work this morning. I’m grateful for easing into the day with a massive cup of ginger/pau d’arco tea.

I’m grateful for the time spent nurturing myself today…a walk in the rain, a trip to the doctor’s office, a visit with my spiritual teacher, a chat with a girlfriend, watching Friends with Mom, snuggles with kitty, connecting with former students.

I’m grateful for time to blend essential oils just for me, and the delicious feeling of receiving when slathering the product all over.¬†I’m grateful for a new book on the energy healing components of flowers.

I’m grateful for the rain and the soothing dripping sound from the palm trees. I’m grateful that my garden can benefit too.

I’m grateful for a clean kitchen and the number for a carpet cleaner.

I’m grateful for time.

I’m grateful for awareness.

I’m grateful for remembering.

I’m grateful for peace.

I’m grateful for the absence of fear.

I’m grateful for giggles.

I’m grateful for caresses.

I’m grateful for love.

 

Gratitude Journal Entry #20

Tonight, I’m grateful for waking up easily without an alarm clock. I’m grateful for waking up with hot ginger tea and yoga. I’m grateful for the beautiful walk on the beach, and that no one was there with me.

I’m grateful for the ability to walk on my own and to take myself places I want to go. I’m grateful for my eyes so that I can see the gorgeous colors of the ocean. I’m grateful for my nose so that I can appreciate the smell of eucalyptus, wood smoke, salt air, and tea. I’m grateful for the sensual sensitivity of my skin so that I can appreciate the mist of the fog as it rolls in, the shivery warmth of a fire in the fireplace, the coziness of fleece, and the caress of the breeze. I’m grateful for fingers that allow me to play music. I’m grateful for a lap so that kitty can sit in it while I play the piano.

I’m grateful for the generosity of others giving out of their abundance to me.

I’m grateful for letting more and more stuff go, and the internal freedom that results. I’m grateful that internal freedom is mirrored in my body relaxing. I’m grateful that for the first time in my life, this letting go in my body is allowing me to almost touch my toes.

I’m grateful for a day of nurturing myself, and exploring my natural rhythms. I’m grateful for using Google Calendar to create a schedule that honors those rhythms.

I’m grateful for optimism.

I’m grateful for trust.

I’m grateful for partnership.

I’m grateful for my beloved.

I’m grateful for adventure.

I’m grateful for exploration without fear.

I’m grateful for abundance.

I’m grateful for hope.

I’m grateful for love.¬†

 

Emergence

As one begins the process of emerging, one finds words again…able to organize thoughts into coherent lines…have a bit more energy…feel restless. By the end of June, everything is back online again…fully functional, even though I know things are different. It is as though I’ve been hiding in a cave for six months, and have just stepped out…blinded by the light…realizing loneliness…desiring connection with others.

Three weeks later, after practicing my new “feet” and “balance” in my new self, I set off on a month of adventures. I revisit old, familiar places…finding pieces of myself from 10 years ago that I have left behind. I meet, talk, and commune with people…some of whom I haven’t seen in over 10 years…some of whom live many states away and hadn’t planned to see me. Again, I see myself reflected back to me in new ways. Old stories challenged. Old memories challenged. Nothing is quite like I remember it, and yet…I am still there…left behind like a hidden, shameful secret. Professionally, I learn new skills, confronting and pushing through barriers I didn’t know I held for myself. My temporary colleagues reflect back to me my confidence and competence…my passion and my sensitivity, and again, I pick up pieces of myself that I had forgotten even existed.

As the pieces keep coming back to me, my internal peace increases. Where once I would have been terrified to be seen fully and completely for who I am, I gradually begin to realize the safety that exists within me. As internal safety increases, my confidence increases…with startling reactions. People flock to me. They share their souls’ yearnings and dark questions…as though I somehow have answers for them. Of course I don’t. All I can offer is the assurance of safety in pursuing individual paths by staying internally connected. By the time I leave two weeks later, my heart overflows with an abundance of love, joy, and gratitude for the blessings that consume me.

A week later, I journey to another place for a few days. Again, I am confronted with pieces of myself in places with old family history. Grandparent history and family culture history. I see family patterns and stories in new ways, and see my child self in a new light…and I am filled with compassion for her. Again, stories are rewritten…and my place and purpose changes. Again, as my pieces come home, I am startled at the response…an unknown woman stops her truck, rolls down her window, stares at me in awe, and finally tells me that I look absolutely stunning…wishing she could tell me specifically why.

A few days later, I travel to another state. For the first time, I’m completely unorganized and unprepared for a trip. I barely make the airport shuttle and am completely rattled by the time I sit down. As I go within, seeking calmness, I discover an incredible amount of love and compassion. I choose to just sit in that space the entire trip to the airport. Once there, and easily through security, I discover that the flight is delayed. Mildly annoyed due to eagerness to reunite with family on the other end, I wander into a bookshop…always my first place of solace. I realize that I will be purchasing at least one book, so I consciously intend that only books with a life-long impact will make their way into my hands. I leave with the book “Aleph” by Paolo Cohelo.

As the flight takes off, I marvel at my surrounding companions. No one is quite together or controlled. Across the aisle is a tall, black, gay man, clearly terrified of flying, who retreats to a world of lyrically expressive rap…vocalized…volume increasing with his fear. Two rows back sits a family from India, the small boy addicted to kicking the seat in front of him. In between them is a father and son, connected to the mother and daughter sitting next to me. Because their children want the window seats, I’m in the middle of the passing of anything and everything between the two sides of the family. Behind me is a row of women who must have some sort of water issue, for there is rarely five minutes of time that passes without one of them exiting to the restroom…pulling my hair every time. In front of me is a young man, wearing role-playing clothes, a long ponytail and a choke collar. Next to him is a woman in her late sixties, clinging to her youth with her brightly and badly colored red hair, botched plastic surgery, and a smoker’s cough. In front of her is a young woman in her 30s, also embracing the goth culture, clearly smitten by the handsome 20-something Australian men to her left. In order to gain their attention, she puts on her massive headphones and starts to fully rock out in her seat…rarely does her derriere touch the seat for any length of time. Between songs, she turns to talk loudly to the young man in front of me, until he resorts to rocking in his seat…at which point, she talks to the red-haired woman. The Australian young men look around for another place to sit…trying not to panic because there are no other seats open on the flight. It is precisely at this moment, realizing that nowhere else on the plane is there a solitary twitch of movement, how fortunate I am. I’m surrounded by people fully embracing who they are and fully living in the moment. I’m surrounded by people who are unafraid to connect with those around them…creating a network…a web of memories that no one else in the plane will experience.

As the week unfolds, the plane’s lessons stay with me. In the gift of the web of connection with my chosen family…all strongly and beautifully flawed, completely open in brutal honesty…I again discover pieces of myself. Pieces that I’ve left with them…in stories we share…stories¬†that we now realize we want to rewrite. So we do. We recreate ourselves and our web…piece by piece…into a strong foundation of a richer, deeper, more compassionate community.

On my last night of my adventures, exhausted with joy and memories and sorrow at separation, I read this in “Aleph”:

“I skim an article about Chinese bamboo. Apparently, once the seed has been sown, you see nothing for about five years, apart from a tiny shoot. All the growth takes place underground, where the complex root system reaching upward and outward is being established. Then, at the end of the fifth year, the bamboo suddenly shoots up to a height of twenty-five meters.”

I stop.

I realize, I’m completing my fifth year.

I’ve emerged and am reconnecting…preparing to shoot up twenty-five meters.

Stay in the flow…massive change is about to happen.

Trust.

Be Joyful.

Be Peace-filled.

Be Love-filled.

Be.

Gratitude Journal Entry #17

 

Tonight, I’m grateful for being greeted at the door with a hug by my 2.5-year-old piano student, first thing this morning. I’m grateful for a thoughtful, gluten-free breakfast provided by my piano students’ mother. I’m grateful for my 7-year-old piano student who told me that he wanted to wait another week to put a sticker on his piece because he knew he could make it sound better by practicing it more. I’m grateful for silly play with the boys and all the fun sounds my voice can make.

I’m grateful for sustained energy today, in spite of the fog, that both inspired and resulted in a clean kitty box, a clean tub, a clean bathroom counter and mirrors, clean dishes and kitchen counter tops, vacuumed carpets and mopped floors. I’m grateful for the music that kept me company during my cleaning commitments.

I’m grateful for Netflix for providing me with documentaries whilst sewing.

I’m grateful for the beautiful orchid that is blooming in my living room.

I’m grateful for the unexpected call from a former student. I’m grateful that I was able to share out of my abundance with this friend and offer her a home-cooked lunch. I’m grateful for the lovely time we spent together.

I’m grateful for the new clothing items that came in the mail, and that all but one fits perfectly.

I’m grateful for colors.

I’m grateful for textures.

I’m grateful for flavors.

I’m grateful for creativity.

I’m grateful for naps.

I’m grateful for love.

Gratitude Journal Entry #13

Wisteria at the Vyne

I’m grateful that my efforts in managing my energy are paying off…even though there’s only one more week of school left, I’m more balanced and relaxed than at any other time during the school year.Tonight, I’m grateful for a smooth day. I’m grateful that I didn’t allow anything to rile me up, and I was able to maintain a happy spirit even in the face of foolishness.

I’m grateful for my hummingbird friend who visited my office today.

I’m grateful for surprise visits from friends.¬†I’m grateful for snort-filled laughter that is inevitable with friends.¬†

I’m grateful for locally grown strawberries and cherries that were my dinner tonight.

I’m grateful for walks in the sunshine.

I’m grateful for beautiful flowers…deep, velvet wine dahlias, pink lilacs, white honeysuckle, pink starburst lilies,¬†variegated¬†sweet peas, coral roses and tulips, fluffy, yellow sunflowers, dripping lavender wisteria, bright orange ranunculus, streaked iris, multi-colored¬†fuchsia, and fire-red orchids.

I’m grateful for hugs.

I’m grateful for friends.

I’m grateful for the unexpected.

I’m grateful for soulmates.

I’m grateful for life.

I’m grateful for love.

Gratitude Journal Entry #11

ranuncula

Tonight, I’m grateful for the warm, cheerful sun that kept me company in my office for most of the morning. I’m grateful that it nurtures my office plants so that they keep growing and blooming. I’m grateful for the zen-like process of mending books…allowing my mind to shut off and just let me Be.

I’m grateful for the fun, newly painted garden pots that inspired me to rearrange my balcony garden. I’m grateful for the feel of dirt, and the amazement for the nurturing food it provides for the plants. I’m grateful for the generosity of friends in sharing clippings from their gardens. I’m grateful for all the pretty flowering plants that are now filling my pots and hanging around my balcony…beginning to feel like a space I want to experience regularly.

I’m grateful for the increasing urge to throw things away and get rid of a gob of physical things I no longer need.

I’m grateful for a rejuvenating time with soul sisters.

I’m grateful for those who share out of their abundance, timed perfectly to the moment when I need what they have to share.

I’m grateful for increased physical energy.

I’m grateful for sassiness.

I‘m grateful for laughter.

I’m grateful for non-reactivity.

I’m grateful for compassion.

I’m grateful for love.

Gratitude Journal Entry #8

Today, I’m grateful for a refreshed earth that surrounds me. I’m grateful for the rain that provided the refreshing. I’m grateful for the flowers that bloom fully, and unabashedly in all their glory. I’m grateful for the ability to perceive color and scents in order to more fully experience the flowers. I’m grateful for the birds who daily serenade me at my office window. I’m grateful for my ears in order to more fully experience their songs of joy.

I’m grateful for the deep healing I experienced this week as¬†facilitated¬†by one of my mentors. I’m grateful for her encouragement, support, and guidance as I move into unfamiliar territory as a business owner and healing practitioner. I’m grateful for the inspiration to design and create my Reiki advertising materials. I’m grateful that I like them so much. I’m grateful for finding an insurance policy that resonated with me. I’m grateful that I have plenty of money to cover these expenses.

I’m grateful for friends who are also business owners in town. I’m grateful for their willingness to connect me with their network. I’m grateful for the beautiful, sleek, and sexy new computer that is now part of my world because of this network.

I’m grateful that my journey of healing has connected me with other beautiful souls also healing similar issues. I’m grateful for the support and Unconditional Love that accompanies these relationships. I’m grateful that I have a dinner appointment tonight with one of my soul sisters. I’m grateful for the blessings that will be shared tonight as a result of sharing and being vulnerable with one another.

I’m grateful for the ancient wisdom of nature’s medicines in the form of food, roots, leaves, flowers and bark. I’m grateful that this wisdom is shared with me in order to support my body. I’m grateful for the additional support in the form of Vitamin B, Vitamin D3, prebiotics, and probiotics. I’m deeply grateful for the luscious aroma of Absolute Rose Oil. I’m even more grateful for everyone involved in the process of creating such a beautiful product. I’m grateful that the roses are so willing to share themselves with me, so that my heart can continue to heal and love others.

I’m grateful for the beautiful kitty I met on my walk to work this morning. I’m grateful she was so friendly and shared her purr with me. I’m grateful for the entertainment of watching a blue jay taunt and tease the kitty. I’m grateful for the giggles that never stopped in watching the dance. I’m grateful for the humor I was able to see in a personal situation as I watched the kitty get all riled up and chatter disgust at the blue jay. I’m grateful for the lesson I was able to see in watching the blue jay intentionally¬†harass¬†the kitty so long as the kitty couldn’t resist the temptation of possible bird food. I’m grateful that in spite of such a situation, both the bird and kitty are infinitely loved by the Universe and Sacredness…as am I.

I’m grateful for possibility.

I’m grateful for support.

I’m grateful for security in the midst of uncertainty.

I’m grateful for laughter.

I’m grateful for connection and vulnerability.

I’m grateful for love.

Gratitude Journal Entry #6

Tonight, I’m grateful for a productive session with my most trying student. I’m grateful that the internet at work didn’t go out until after my work day finished.

I’m grateful for all the smiles I received today.

I’m grateful for easily finding a parking spot in a lot under construction. I’m grateful that the open parking spot was easy to park in. I’m grateful that the stores I visited today¬†had exactly what I needed.

I’m grateful for an unexpected check in the mail. I’m grateful that The Universe provided money for me to keep an appointment I made in faith.

I’m grateful that the computer I chose to buy “happened” to be on sale today, allowing me to easily pay for it. I’m grateful that by ordering it today, I can benefit from the generosity of the sale.

I’m grateful I found my Vitamin D3 that has been missing for a couple of days (that’s my story anyhow). I’m grateful for time to read this afternoon.

I’m grateful for tears. I’m grateful for hugs. I’m grateful for love.

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