Transformation

I must confess…I didn’t take this picture. To be honest, I’m not entirely certain this picture is real. I once burned through three rolls of high quality Fuji film trying to capture the perfect artsy picture of just one of these butterflies…a whole group of them seemed a bit like trying to herd cats, so I didn’t even try. Even still, I didn’t get a single picture showing the blue…only the brown on the undersides of the wings. Needless to say, bitter doesn’t begin to describe my feelings of three entire rolls, each consisting of 36 photos of brown smear, completely wasted. So…I’m pretty sure this photo, that I lifted off the Squidoo site, is completely digitally constructed. But, I’m also pretty sure this is what my photos looked like when I pressed the button. Why the film doesn’t reflect that continues to be a mystery to me.

My life at the moment is going through a massive transformation…one that requires me to stop every few moments and take a breath, send myself some love and take a step forward. Some days those in-between moments  are as long as an hour…other days those moments occur every time my heart beats. I’ve been too overwhelmed by all the changes to put words to any experience until this week. This week, a Monarch Butterfly danced across my path. It reminded me of the Blue Morpho Butterfly, my favorite of them all, and the messy process they go through to get from caterpillar to this unbelievable shimmer of blue joyous magic flitting through the air. They don’t live very long compared to the amount of time I live, but they certainly do it with grace and flair…something that certainly inspires me.

I’m not certain that I’ve even emerged from the cocoon, much less opened my brown wings to reveal the blue…but I’m hoping, and at times trusting, that I’m on the right path because if so…the other side is going to be amazing!

Beach Treasures

Pelican

I went adventuring the other day. To be honest, the adventure began half-heartedly as the sky was gray and the word gloom definitely applied. Always a sun goddess, I tend to burrow and hibernate whenever the sun hides her face from me. However, as several days had passed in which Bast stubbornly continued to evade Her duties, I realized that I was shriveling up and needed to force myself to experience life even in the gloom.

As I stepped onto the beach, I met the pelican…waiting patiently for food. I sat and watched. Pelican remained steadfast in spite of the seemingly menacing energy of Sedna and reached into the water as it flowed past her…recognizing the blessing and nourishment brought in the thunder should she choose to remain still and let it flow around her.

Somewhere I learned that whenever I found a feather, it was a message from the angels that I am not alone and that I am loved immeasurably. When I stooped to pick up this feather, I noticed the downy feather on the seaweed, which contrasted in texture to the seaweed, whose colors highlighted the white of both feathers. Then I saw the footprints and I stopped. I realized this was a sacred moment. It was as if this water bird had been working with the angels by agreeing to leave something for me…and then signed the gift with the flourish of her feet. In my pause I expressed gratitude for the gifts of love.

Beach Relics

As I walked the length of the beach, surrounded by the muted colors of the water and sky and clouds, I began to notice occasional bright colors that spotted the bland landscape. At first, I didn’t pay them much attention, for they were so scattered about that it was easy to pass them by. Forced to stop and really look after ignoring a handful of them, I was struck by the brilliant colors and intricate textures that lay at my feet…seemingly discarded by the ocean…relics lying on the sand. While each of them made a bright spot on the sand, when I put them all together, I stared in wonder at the beauty that lay hidden right in front of me…all it took was some rearranging to reveal and highlight the beauty already there.

Lapping barnacles

Around the corner are the tide pools. As I approached, I slowed down as I didn’t want to step on something that lived there. My pace gradually halted and I looked about and breathed in deeply…for in that moment, the sun broke through the clouds. As I stilled myself, I became aware of a crackling sound…similar to Rice Krispies moments after an introduction to milk. I listened more closely and discovered that it was the sound of the mussels and barnacles closing. I crept closer to watch and then saw this pool of water and my eyes opened in wonder. The conical barnacles waved at me…extending flags into the water and then sweeping back in. The flags, feathery and delicate, had stripes of darker green on them. I marveled at the beautiful colors of green in the detail…as though painted with a brush of only three or four strands. I watched in fascination…mesmerized at the flag dance and the beauty of the delicate fluid motion that thrives even as the thundering waves crashed behind me.

wave ribbon

As I walked back, Bast began to peek Her head through the clouds and highlight the colors in the water. A combination of low tide and little wind resulted in relatively calm and clear water, such that when the water swelled the color changed from a deep blue to a transparent moss green. I turned to leave the beach, but at the last moment, turned back for one final look at the treasure chest I’d just experienced. In that moment, Bast emerged just as Sedna rose to greet Her, resulting in this fluid ribbon…dissolving into sparkling foam.

To Be or Not To Be

Selaginella

One of the things I do whenever my soul needs a pick-me-up is to visit a nursery. I don’t mean a baby nursery in a hospital (although I’m sure there are many arguments to be made for and against such a place being a pick-me-up for the soul); I mean a plant nursery. 

Whenever I’m surrounded by plants, I’m struck by the seeming simplicity of their lives. While some plants serve important purposes from a human perspective, it must be acknowledged that some plants’ sole purpose is to just be…and be beautiful…even if no one sees them or appreciates their beauty. They remind me that while others might criticize me for not being enough this way or being too much that way, that just being me is enough…to let my inner light shine for beauty’s sake. And that is enough. 

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