D!reaming in the Void

Once all the grief falls away, the panic passes, and one becomes comfortable with the silent uncertainty of being, one realizes that this is where dreams create reality. 

That’s a heady moment of realization…the power to so utterly and completely create and define yourself and your world. The responsibility can be overwhelming. 

As I sat in this space…completely overwhelmed and scared to make a mistake…I wondered How do I dream about something when I don’t even know if it exists or if it’s possible? How can dream something better than what I know?

I’m not really certain how to answer that question yet…I’m still experimenting. But. During this void time, I went for a drive on the freeway. It was a splurge drive, harkening back to the days when I drove for mental health…to explore the world…to go to new places, meet new people, and expand my horizon just a little…to connect with the earth. My budget and gas prices have made such drives only memories now. But, on this day, I gave myself a treat and went for a drive.

As I drove, feeling panicky because there was so much traffic and wanting an open road to myself…away from people and the mundane…I gradually became aware that the air around me had changed. The sounds around me had changed. I was surrounded. I looked. I WAS SURROUNDED! Encasing me in ecstasy were three Lamborghinis and two Porsches. 

Confession. I know I blogged about the Porsche Carrera being my dream car, but my real dream car is a Lamborghini. At some point I changed my dream because I didn’t think it would ever be possible for me to see a Lamborghini, much less drive or own one. Not that a Porsche would be that much easier for my budget…but at least I’d seen a few of those. 

And now THERE WERE THREE LAMBORGHINIS SURROUNDING ME!!! THREE!!!! AT ONCE! 

I realized in this moment that tears were streaming down my face. Then I heard a chuckle in my head and heard, We’ll help you remember your dreams. Play! Have fun! You can always create more.

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2 Comments

  1. Sunday, April 15th, 2012 at 12:27 pm

    When I lived in England, there was a lord with a country house, about midway between my house and my Nan’s who loved Ferraris. His name was Lord Brockett. Before he got done for tax evation, he used to hold annual Ferrari meet-ups on his estate and you’d see red Ferraris all over the country roads 🙂

    • Seraphina said,

      Sunday, April 15th, 2012 at 10:51 pm

      What fun! The Ferraris I mean…not the tax evasion 😉


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